Kagome, If You Go
by KagsChann
Summary: Inuyasha goes to look for Kikyo again, and Kagome can't bear it like she used to.


_Kagome__, If You Go_

"_Kikyou, I could__n't see myself with anyone other than you," InuYasha voiced to the dead miko, stroking a hand through her hair._

Kagome felt nauseous, like she was going to heave at any moment. InuYasha's word pierced her deeply, and she didn't know why she always let it get to her. He was always toying with Kagome, as if she were some idle plaything until he could find and be with Kikyou.

Kikyou came first place ahead of poor Kagome.

"Inu… yasha." Kagome stood in front of the Bone-eater's well, staring down into it with blurry eyes. Crying didn't solve anything, but it was like her heart had been ripped from her breast and shredded, and she couldn't really help it.

"_Kikyou… Kikyou."_

"Why don't you ever say my name like that?" Kagome could feel her sobs making her sicker. She wobbled in her position, and although her feet were firm on the ground, she felt like she was walking on thin air. Falling for that half-demon was one of the things that Kagome feared the most, and as for it happening, she was truly starting to regret it. She was starting to loathe always wanting to be with him and always wanting to be the one he loved more than anything. She already knew for sure that she hated Kikyou. Kagome had always hated Kikyou, but she… she was just too fastidious before to admit any of it to InuYasha.

In her mind, if she would have told him how she really felt about Kikyou, Kagome was afraid of his reaction, afraid that he might leave her and never speak to her again. Kagome didn't want that, so she bottled it up. She bottled it up until now, until she saw how InuYasha couldn't walk away from the past. It seemed that he was a million miles away from the present, and that was where Kagome really wanted him to be. She wanted him to be with her.

"If only you co-could see… she's using you, InuYasha." Kagome sobbed. Her little hands tightened more around the rim to the well, and her nails chipped at the way she dug her nails in. Her legs grew numb with every second that she was supported by them, and any moment, she would probably fall to her knees.

"N-no." Kagome whispered hoarsely, "I will not fall to my knees for someone that doesn't deserve it."

"_Kagome."_

"No. No…"

"_Kagome I-"_

Her knees eventually gave out against her will, causing her to fall to the ground. Her hands still grasped the well tightly, and she felt her fingertips take in small splinters. The pain was nothing compared to what her heart was feeling. "InuYasha…" her voice cracked. She felt more hot tears fill her eyes and overflow onto her rosy cheeks, which soon became flushed in them. Her lips trembled and quaked, slipping out sobs and sputters.

Kagome couldn't let InuYasha, nor the others see her like this. She was full of so many emotions, that Kagome had wondered just when she would burst. Burst to let out all of what she should have let out months ago, instead of keeping it inside.

However, Kagome couldn't hide herself from the presences coming up on her and then stopping behind of her quaking form.

She gasped only slightly, the cool air catching her hair in it and blowing it in her way. Slowly she released the well, and brought her hands to her small chest. Her stomach turned and twisted as she slowly turned, and caught sight of her friends.

Sango looked at both Miroku and Shippo, telling them to back off. She hunched in front of Kagome and embraced her tightly. Kagome simply sat there, the feel of her friend's arms barely registering to her.

Sango's words seemed like gibberish to her, and it all didn't make sense… But when she said "InuYasha", Kagome lost it all over again. Suddenly, she threw her arms around Sango's frame, and poured out everything on her shoulder. Miroku and Shippo exchanged glances, looking at Kagome as she cried too hysterically. They knew instantly it had something to do with InuYasha.

Sango consoled Kagome the best that she could, holding her close and rocking her back and forth, much like a mother would. Sango had always watched over Kagome.

"Why does it never turn out the way I want it to?"

Sango ran her hand through Kagome's hair, "Maybe if he hurts you too much… you need to return back to your time, and leave the shards with us."

Kagome drew back from Sango and stared at her. She reached beneath the articles of her school uniform top and drew from it, the Shikon Jewel shards.

Kagome looked at them as they glowed in their protective bottle before handing them to Sango.

"Maybe… maybe it would be better if I didn't keep weighing InuYasha down."

Sango smiled gently, "Kagome… we don't want to see you go… but,"

Miroku and Shippo came in closer, Shippo hopping into Kagome's arms and nuzzling her. He looked up into her dark brown eyes and smiled sad, "We don't want to see you like this either."

Kagome brushed her hand over Shippo's pale cheek, "I love you guys. No matter what, you'll always be in my heart."

Slowly, Kagome stood, only to be taken into Miroku's arms and squeezed tightly, "I'll never forget someone as beautiful and as kind as you, Kagome."

Kagome felt her sobs coming back, and she shed some more tears. Drawing back from Miroku, she forced out a smile to him, "Miroku… leave those women alone, okay?"

He blushed a light pink as Kagome kissed his cheek in a friendly gesture and then let her go.

Sango looked at Kagome with a serene smile, and then hugged her back as she threw her small arms around her waist. They stayed like that for a while, the wind the only sound that could be heard around them. Kagome cried softly into her friend and then choked out a few words, "Sango… don't kill Miroku."

Sango laughed, "I can't make any promises."

"Kagome…" Shippo tugged at Kagome's stocking, and Kagome looked down at him. She leaned forwards and picked him up, hugging him close. "Shippo."

"I'll never forget you, Kagome." He sniffled.

Kagome smiled, "Shippo… I never thought I'd have to-"

"I'll miss you"

"I-I'll miss yo-you too…" Kagome set him down and then went to the well. She gave the bottom one last glance and jumped in… Sango grabbed Shippo as he went to jump after her and held him close. She sighed heavily and wiped away evidence of tears with her free hand.

"InuYasha…"

InuYasha sat in the God Tree and sighed, the wind blowing through his silver hair and the scent of Kikyou still lingering on his body. He had been sitting there for only a few minutes, and he had begun to feel like something was empty inside of him. Something important.

"What keeps me so unfocussed?"

Something in the air was different, and he couldn't seem to find the scent that he was most used to. It seemed to elude him no matter how much he tried to track it.

"_InuYasha!"_

"Ka-kagome…" InuYasha voiced, sitting up from the tree and then looking down at the ground beneath him. "This was where we first met…"

"_A boy?"_

"You smelled like Kikyou and I thought-" he clenched his fists, "Oh, Kagome."

"_Don't be pretentious! No other girl smells this disgusting except for you!"_

InuYasha jumped from the branch on the tree and landed on both feet upon the ground. He stared at the tree from where he stood and blinked. This tree carried so many memories; InuYasha didn't know where to begin. It was where he had been sealed for fifty years, and above all, it had been where he first met Kagome, after she pulled the arrow from his chest and woke him.

To go back to that day, InuYasha would trade anything for it.

But that something that InuYasha was left empty with, seemed to evade him still.

"_Hey, you!"_

"_My name's not 'you'."_

"_Come back, stupid!"_

"_It's not 'stupid either'…"_

"Kagome… was I really that harsh to you?" He sighed, "And am I still?" InuYasha looked away from the tree and off into the Valley. It had seemed that Kagome was one of the precious things in InuYasha's life that he kept abusing. Something he would lose soon if he didn't stop, and if InuYasha lost Kagome…

"InuYasha…?"

"Kagome?" He turned around to the sound of his voice and smiled. His smile, however, soon faded when he saw Sango standing a few feet away from him, staring him down.

InuYasha let out a heavy breath, "I thought you were Kago-"

"Kagome went back to her time, InuYasha."

"She'll be back."

Sango shook her head at the half-demon and then held up the small bottle that held tiny shards. InuYasha looked at them in disbelief, shaking his head in denial.

"I'm afraid she won't ever be coming back to the Feudal Era."

Kagome pulled herself out of the well and stepped into the small building that held it. She looked around her, the darkness bringing chills to her spine. She was home now, and she could never go back to the Feudal Era again, not after she handed the jewel shards over to Sango.

Walking up the steps, leading to the door, Kagome pushed it open and sighed. It rained in a downpour in Present Tokyo.

She looked up at the sky as the rain fell upon her skin and then looked around the Higorashi shrine. Lights were on in the house, and Kagome only smiled.

"I'm home."

"But how? Why did she leave without taking the shards with her?"

"Kagome saw you with Kikyou." Miroku voiced as he walked up next to Sango.  
InuYasha felt his heart drop and he looked at the ground. That had always been the reason Kagome left the Feudal Era, and he knew that. This time, however, she left the shards behind, which meant, Kagome was never going to come back.

InuYasha clenched his fists tighter, "She told you she was never coming back?"

"Kagome would be better off if she were in her own time."

"Answer me!" InuYasha shouted, growling at the duo that stood away from him.

Sango bowed her head and nudged Miroku lightly, telling him to stand down. She sighed before bringing her eyes back onto InuYasha's, "She thought she was only weighing you down, and she didn't want to make anything harder for you."

"Dammit, Kagome…" InuYasha groaned…

"InuYasha, Kagome needed you. So why don't you get her back before it's really too late?"

"I… I am finally home." Kagome breathed. Her heart still thumped faster than normal, but she was a little relieved. Maybe if she returned home, she could forget that anything ever happened. Forget that she was a reincarnation of Kikyou, forget she was pulled into the Feudal Era… and most of all, forget InuYasha.

"Kagome…!"

Kagome gasped slightly when her name was called from behind of her. She turned quickly, only to see what she least expected. Her heart went faster than before, and she felt her knees becoming weak once again. Kagome closed her eyes for a second in denial and then reopened them, but he still stood there, soaked by the rain that fell upon his red kimono.

"InuYasha."

"Kagome…" he approached her slowly, takng steps closer to her as she backed away slightly. When he came in arms legnth of Kagome, they both stopped. InuYasha looked dead into her eyes with his golden ones and then swallowed, "Kagome…"

She stood still, wanting to lash out at him for all the pain he put her through. She wanted to, but her voice wouldn't let her. Seeing InuYasha so close to her after he shattered her heart, made her feel so frozen.

"Why did you leave without taking the shards? Kagome, why did you leave?"

Kagome breathed deeply when InuYasha's hand came to her cheek and she felt the tips of his claws brush over her skin. She trembled and then flinched, able to take one more step backwards away from him. She merely looked at him and did nothing else.

InuYasha blinked and slowly nodded, "I understand why you're mad at me, and that you may even hate me, Kagome… But what I said to Kikyou, I don't think you heard it all."

Kagome knit her brows together in slight confusion. The rain began to fall harder, leaving both adolescents soaked completely.

"You didn't hear what you were probably supposed to-"

"And what was that?" she finally spoke, "_Kikyou, I couldn't see myself with anyone other than you?_ Is that what I was supposed to hear, InuYasha?"

InuYasha shook his head, "I only said that because I couldn't… I couldn't before but-"

"But what InuYasha?" Kagome sobbed, her tears being hidden by the rain. She trembled and looked at him with a sharp glare. Her heart had picked up its fast pace again, and Kagome felt herself wanting to throw-up.

InuYasha stood in the rain, waiting for her to speak again, waiting for her to yell all sorts at him, like she would before.

"But what?"

"I couldn't see myself with anyone other than Kikyou… but, Kagome… I told her that I…"

Kagome could see the struggle in InuYasha's eyes. He looked at her the best he could, trying to keep his golden eyes locked onto her brown ones. His now clenched fists were shaking from too much pressure, and he restrained himself from rolling on his heels.

"Kagome, I want you to come back to the Feudal Era."

"Why?" Kagome questioned with a small sob.

InuYasha sighed heavily, "Kagome, if you go… and never come see me again… I would-" he inhaled once more, "-I wouldn't be able to… live without you."

Kagome felt her soul being lifted and she saw the way InuYasha's face turned a small shade of light pink. He looked at her completely now, his eyes not moving the slightest bit away from hers. She lost all feeling in her legs and nearly fell over, until she was caught by InuYasha and held up, hoisted into his arms. "Inu… InuYasha…"

"Kagome, if you leave me…"

"InuYasha… how do I know you're telling the truth?"

InuYasha somewhat smiled at her carefully. He brushed his hand over her wet hair and over her cheek. Kagome looked up at him, trying to push herself away from his body until she realized it was nearly impossible.

InuYasha shook his head and then closed his eyes, "Kagome… Kagome."

Kagome felt the warmth pour into her heart as she heard him whisper her name repeatedly, like he had when he had been still in love with Kikyou. She smiled a little bit then and kissed InuYasha's cheek, "Maybe I should let you die, since you can't live without me."

He opened his eyes instantly, "You wouldn't."

"Really? Because that's how you made me feel when you would search for Kikyou, I felt dead inside."

"Kagome…"

"And every time I would try to talk to you… you would always push me away and tell me to shut up and leave you alone."

InuYasha looked at her as she became serious again, "I can't promise that I'll be able to fully repair your heart to the way it was before… But I can promise that I will try."

"You're not the same InuYasha I met a long time ago…" she smiled. Her heart restored itself to it's normal heartrate and she leaned against InuYasha contently, "But I will accept it anyway."


End file.
